Reflections

It’s been a while since I’ve put anything personal on here. Admittedly, it’s been a while since I’ve put anything on here, but this won’t be political or science-y or anything. Just a warning though, my next series is about the theoretical basis of the filibuster, so this is to balance that out in a way.

When I came down to IU, I didn’t think I’d leave feeling like this. I never thought leaving here would be harder than leaving home. I was dead wrong. This year has been incredible. I’ve learned so much about life, people, meaning, communication, and, most importantly, myself.

I’ve always thought I knew who I was. If nothing else, I was aware of who I was. I wasn’t always confident being that person though. I don’t think I was fake, just “toned down” a bit for a long time. No more. I’m immensely confident with who I am now. I do some really, really stupid things, I’m far too stubborn, I’m generally impatient, I can be a bit overbearing, I get extreme tunnel-vision at times, and I’m often overconfident. But I’m passionate, I’m caring, I love to learn, I want to help, I want to improve, I want to love, and I don’t mind fighting. And you know what? I’m okay with all of that.

If there’s one axiom I’ve embraced above all else this past year, it’s this: I would rather try to fly and fall than stay grounded. I’ve tried to fly many times this past year. Sometimes, I did. I had some experiences this past year that still seem surreal. But sometimes I fell. Hard. There are times where I still don’t know what I was thinking. But, in the end, I think I learned more from the falls than the flights.

You learn about yourself when it’s 2 a.m. and you can’t sleep because you’re miserable or completely stressed or just plain scared because of something you did or something that happened. It’s like what Pappy always used to say when I would get passed at the mile or start to fall back at the 2: “How do react, Whammy?!” I’m proud to say I think I’ve reacted quite well; after all, some of those flights occurred very soon after the falls.

Although I did learn a great deal about myself – found myself, even – through all of this, the best part of this year has been being a brother. When you start pledging a co-ed professional business fraternity, you aren’t really sure how legit the whole “brotherhood” thing can be, especially for an only child. Well, it’s legit. I don’t just call these people my brothers as a title, I mean it. I’m really not sure what I’m going to do this summer without these people that I’ve been through so much with day in and day out; they really are my family down here. I’m certainly not looking forward to that, but I am looking forward to 3 more years. Yeah AKPsi!

All-in-all, I wouldn’t trade a single one of my experiences this past year for the world. I wish it never had to end, but all good things… I am definitely looking forward to 3 more amazing years here at IU though. I’m excited for what I’ll be able to do and see, and to see how I grow even more. This has been experience, and the best part is that it’s only just beginning.